I feel like I'm being given the opportunity to live into the life I desire - to be a man of prayer in all I do; to be creative as an expression of the Spirit moving through me; to speak less and listen more.
But I also seriously fear giving myself to this because I may discover that I don't have the resources to be that person. And the truth is, I probably don't have those resources. It probably isn't something for me to achieve, but to accept, to receive, to participate with.
What I want is for the Divine to live boldly through me, and that is not something I can achieve.
This not achieving, however, is not not doing anything. Not achieving does not happen without discipline. (I think.) Not achieving does not happen without my consent, my desire, my openness.
Freely given. Freely received. That is all.
Amen